“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something.”—Barack Obama
Jennifer Palmieri takes that message one step farther in her new book, “Dear Madam President.”
Palmieri knows a thing or two about hopeless situations: she was director of communications for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, and not long after Clinton didn’t become Madam President, Palmieri’s sister Dana died.
But in “Dear Madam President,” Palmieri challenges our interpretations of loss.
In the chapter, “Undefeated,” she exhorts readers, “Even when you lose, refuse to be defeated.”
America has suffered a lot of losses since the last election, but Palmieri insists that loss isn’t defeat. It’s hard to feel that way as we’re watching so many laws go down the tubes, the NRA and corporations ruling America, women losing control over their own bodies, and children being taken away from their parents — if they were blonde blue-eyed babies, they wouldn’t be — and a plethora of atrocities longer than the U.S. Constitution being enacted by the deranged occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and his amoral colleagues in Congress.
Defeated is definitely how millions of people felt when they saw the newspaper headlines on the morning of Nov. 9. Palmieri used the word “explosion” to describe what happened to reality at that moment. Still, she says, “Whether or not you are defeated is your choice. Defeated is when you fail to look your opponent in the face and call them out on their hate or lies. Defeated is when you cower when attacked. Defeated is when you give up the fight. Worse, defeated is when you give up hope.”
It bears repeating: war is hell, and we are in a war for America. Taking a stand is a long slog. And it’s disheartening that fewer women marched this January than they did in 2017, despite the fact that there are a lot more reasons to march. Did the people who fell by the wayside give up hope? Will they be replaced by others who step up?
Depressing stuff. It compounds loss.
Does this sound like King Lear’s predicament? “Feeling the pain is part of standing in the storm,” Palmieri says. “The pain isn’t what will defeat you. What matters is what you choose to do once the storm passes.”
You could also look at current events as a swimming lesson. When you see a big wave coming (a red wave?), if you try to run from it, the wave will knock you down and drag you under. You won’t know which way is up, you’ll come out all scraped up — and maybe minus a bathing suit. Three seconds later another wave will be on you…ad infinitum.
But if you dive into the wave, you’ll come through it on the other side, bathing suit intact. And maybe the next wave will be a blue one.
Palmieri asks something that seems impossible for weary foot soldiers, but when you think about it, this is our only choice: “You may need to set your sights farther in the future, dig a little deeper, and find the strength to keep going.”
Setting our sights farther in the future is seriously scary; there are so many land mines in the current American landscape. On the other hand, as Palmieri says, “The rebirth will come from the ground up or it won’t come at all.”
We all know grassroots action is the power source, but here’s a thought (Palmieri’s): “What has held us back before is merely our collective inability to imagine what is possible for us to do.” Caveat: Keep your feet on the ground while you’re imagining.
Here’s the best part of the book: “Brace yourself: Nothing draws fire like a woman moving forward.”
Draw Fire is the tee shirt I want.